its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize