dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
