Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
