I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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