I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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