Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
