absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You ruined the universe
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
