what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
they need to just BURY HIM!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
