omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
