he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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