This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
