i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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