So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
from now on my penis is your penis
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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