I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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