your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
