mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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