It's like God shit irony all over that family
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
