Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize