Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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