Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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