just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't make out with my wife yet
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
