this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize