And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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