What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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