I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
