ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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