ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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