Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
