ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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