Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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