Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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