Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
