i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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