how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
