check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
