Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
