I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize