She is in my trunk
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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