Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
