Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
