It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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