Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
