you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
