I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm too high and old for this...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
