Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
