Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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