and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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