I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's like heaven, but drunker
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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