the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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