If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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