Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
