I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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