Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
