After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
