worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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