Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
