And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize