omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
