Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize