The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
