I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
