i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
