I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
