just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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