He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
