Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
